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March 17, 2021 – Wednesday

Your belief in love has been shaken to its core.

You’ve been disappointed by one too many unavailable guys.

You’ve suffered through a lifetime of flakes, liars, losers and players.

You’ve wasted your youth on selfish commitmentphobes.

Your faith in men has been shattered, again and again.

Your tolerance for dating and online dating is less than zero.

You just don’t see the point of subjecting yourself to the whims of another man, only to risk being hurt all over again.

I understand. You’re a smart woman. Smart women make smart choices based on available evidence — and anyone in your position would likely come to the same conclusion: you’d better take a semi-permanent break from dating.

You go through your post-break-up hibernation.

You have your crying time.

You throw yourself into your work.

You lean heavily on your girlfriends.

You read good books, watch bad TV, and lick your wounds for a bit.

You get back to the gym.

You plan a girls’ weekend.

You fill up your life with things you love.

Months go by. Years, even.

Until suddenly, magically, the black cloud over your head starts to lift.

You emerge from your cocoon, ready to enjoy life again. You still feel occasional pangs of sadness, but, for the most part, you’re back to your old self.

More importantly, you don’t find yourself obsessing about that one guy anymore.

In fact, you don’t think about ANY guys anymore.

You don’t want to. You don’t need to.

In your experience, men cause pain, and since you don’t want any more pain, you’ve decided to swear off dating for now.

It’s not that dating never crosses your mind. But every time you feel that yearning for love, your negative thoughts keep flooding back, reminding you of all the reasons you shouldn’t even try to get back out there.

“I’m not good at relationships.”

“Most men have way too much baggage and emotional immaturity.”

“The men I like don’t want me, and I don’t like the men who do want me.”

“Online dating always makes me feel worse about myself.”

“I can’t waste any more time on another guy who disappoints me.”

“I don’t think I can trust my own judgment.”

“Love has always let me down. Why would I try it again?”

These thoughts feel right. They make sense.

Now that you’re back to feeling like 95% of your former self, why risk your good spirits on something as unpredictable as dating?

The issue is that you’ve shut off an essential 5% of yourself.

That 5% is called hope.

Hope is what allows you to believe your life can always get better.

Hope is what keeps you motivated to overcome challenges at work.

Hope is the ember of a fire that burns quietly inside you, yearning for true love.

You’ve consciously decided to blow that fire out.

You’re busy. You’re content. Life goes on.

Or so you’d like to think.

But whether you like it or not, sooner or later, after some family gathering, wedding or silly romantic comedy, your inner voice finally speaks up:

“I miss being in love.”

You hate that voice — that vulnerable sap inside you who actually wants to be cherished by a man. You shut her down immediately.

“No! Dating is a nightmare. Men are not to be trusted. Love is a waste of time.”

It’s a compelling case. You have a lot of bad experiences to support it.

You think back to the men who have hurt you.

You consider the years you have wasted.

You put on a happy face to the world.

You say to anyone who asks:

“I don’t want a man. I don’t need a man. Life is so much better this way.”

And it’s true. Life IS better without the pain of a bad relationship. But it’s not nearly as inspiring and joyful as it can be with a GREAT relationship.

While you can try to ignore your hopeful voice, you can never fully silence it. Your hopeful voice speaks for the real, authentic you, and it’s saying:

You DO want to fall in love again. You just don’t want to get HURT again.

Search your soul and you’ll know this is true.

You’re NOT truly satisfied being single.

You’re merely making the best of your circumstances.

You’ve got a good job, close friends, and enough interests to keep you occupied, 24/7. But despite the fact that you’re happy…

• You bristle at what your family thinks about your choices.
• You resent that your married friends have drifted away.
• You hate being excluded from couples’ dinner parties.
• You dread being the woman who travels by herself.
• You know that there are fewer available men with each passing year.
• You’re deathly afraid of growing old alone.

While you know you shouldn’t make any decisions based on societal conventions or what other people think…

You really want what your happily married friends have.

An end to your fear and anxiety.

A shoulder to cry upon at the end of a hard day.

A guy to make you laugh when you need it the most.

A man to generously pay for dinner and take care of things around the house.

A best friend, lover and partner-in-crime all wrapped up in one.

A confidante who makes you feel safe, heard, and understood.

A husband who vows to be there for you, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, ‘til death do you part.

The problem is that you have no hope that this is even POSSIBLE.

And as the months and years go by, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy:

You don’t believe in love, so you don’t fall in love.

The sad thing is that you will NEVER fall in love if you don’t believe in love.

 

My name is Evan Marc Katz and I am a dating coach for smart, strong, successful women and the author of four relationship books.

I have only one goal for today: to give you your hope and confidence back.

After spending 10 years listening to women share their disappointments, I have an intimate understanding of what it’s like to be single, frustrated, and ready to quit.

I have helped thousands of women like you let go of the past, embrace the present, and find true love. My inbox is overflowing with success stories from women who have followed my advice.

There’s only one difference between my happily married readers and the ones who continue to remain sad and alone.

The happily married women are the ones who believed in love.

You can ignore it, fight it, or deny it, but it’s the absolute truth.

You can’t achieve a goal unless you can see yourself achieving it.

You wouldn’t start a diet if you didn’t believe you’d lose some weight.

You wouldn’t go to law school if you didn’t believe you’d be a lawyer.

You wouldn’t run a marathon if you didn’t believe you’d cross the finish line.

Beliefs are pretty damn powerful. If you believe the worst about relationships and men, it’s next to impossible to have a relationship with a man.

Which would be fine if that’s what you actually wanted. But you don’t.

You want a partner to share every little detail of your life.

Someone to pick up your favorite ice cream at the grocery store.

Someone to fix your wireless connection.

Someone to book a surprise flight to New York.

Someone to find you irresistibly sexy.

Someone to let you know it’s all going to be okay.

You want to sink deep into a loving, passionate relationship with a man who accepts you in full and makes your life better every single day.

This isn’t a fantasy.

This is a reality — but only for women who make it a reality.

There are hundreds of millions of women who are no brighter, kinder or prettier than you, and they are in healthy, long-lasting relationships right now.

So what did these happy women figure out that allowed them to let go of their pasts, keep dating, and find the men of their dreams?

They didn’t give up.

They kept on persevering, even when things looked bleak.

In my decade as a dating coach, I’ve seen some really bleak situations, but I can ASSURE you, once you break through that vicious cycle of pessimism and self-doubt, you’ll be left with the one thing that can sustain you through the hardest times.

Hope.

Without it, I could give you all my best advice and wisdom, but it will largely fall on deaf ears.

The very first step in finding love is to believe you can find love.

Keep reading and I’ll tell you how you can start believing again.

But first, I want to ask you to think about your previous relationships.

Have you ever stayed with a boyfriend for too long?
Have you ever ignored his red flags until it was too late?
Have you ever allowed a man to destroy your faith in love?

If so, you’ve been held hostage by your own memories. Now it’s time to let them go.

Here are the top 3 reasons you’ve had trouble believing in love:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You may be a unique woman, but your negative feelings about dating, relationships and men are not unique.

It doesn’t matter if you’re 28 or 68.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a size 0 or a size 24.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a CEO or a stay-at-home mom.

You don’t believe that happy, healthy love is ever going to happen to you.

Maybe it’s the negative imprint of your parents.

Maybe it’s suffering through a toxic long-term relationship.

Maybe it’s your insecurities about your weight or age.

Maybe dating the wrong men for enough years has simply worn you down.

You are now dangerously close to shutting the door on love forever, and sealing your fate as a single woman. And I know for a FACT you don’t want to.

This loss of hope and optimism is so common that restoring it is virtually my full-time job. Which is why I discover myself answering the same questions every day:

“Am I too old to have success in online dating?”

“What happens if I write to a guy and he doesn’t write back?”

“I’m not remotely interested in the men who are interested in me. What do I do?”

“How can I be more laid-back and confident on a first date?”

“How do I play things cool in the first few weeks when we’re seeing each other?”

“What do I do when he only texts and doesn’t follow up to make plans quickly?”

“When should I know that he wants to be my boyfriend?”

“How do I bounce back from rejection and not take it personally?”

“How can I make sure I’m not wasting my time on the wrong men?”

After saying the same things on the phone repeatedly…after refining my analogies and finding ones that really resonated…after hearing the sigh of relief from clients who “got it” and were able to relax and enjoy the dating process, I had my epiphany.

Instead of reserving these ideas exclusively for women who can invest thousands of dollars in finding love, I would write it all down and give it to EVERYBODY.

This is why I wrote…

 

7 Steps to Letting Go of the Past, Embracing the Present, and Dating with Confidence

…and why I’ve never been more proud of a book.

Because no matter how smart, how beautiful, or how tenacious you are, you’ve just about reached your limit as to how much pain, rejection and confusion you can take.

“Believe in Love” channels all of the best information I’ve ever given to my private clients — the science, the metaphors, the teary-eyed hugs, the earnest exhortations, and the rah-rah pep talks that have inspired them to persevere and find love.

I am not exaggerating when I say that women have turned their lives around just by hearing one metaphor that turned dating from unbearable into fun.

Soon, you will reframe your negative beliefs, get your smile back, and flip your own glass from half-empty to half-full.

Now I’m about to share my entire career’s worth of wisdom about how you will not only believe in love, but also make love happen as well.

 

 

Here are just some of the things you will learn inside “Believe in Love”